School Refusal
Finding the Way Forward for NYC Students
Students who exhibit school refusal are not simply defiant. They are suffering from some form of emotional trauma that haunts them so badly that they cannot stand the thought of going to school.
When a child consistently refuses to attend school, many people assume that parents are lax or overindulgent. But most of the time, parents are simply at their wits’ end. They’ve tried coaxing, bribing, and sometimes even threatening. They’ve tried taking away screen time. Some parents have been known to dress their children and physically push them out the door, all to no avail. Students experiencing school refusal would rather face discomfort and disapproval at home rather than go to school, even when they know deep down that they should be in school.
Many times, finding the right school can change the situation with startling speed. Other times, shifting students to one of the equipped trauma informed schools in NYC can initiate a gradual process of a return to a learning environment outside the home.
The team at Academics West understands the frustration and fear that parents and students experience in these situations. We also know that the right interventions and support can help uncover the reasons for school refusal and lead to a positive change.
As a high support school, we have a counselor-to-student ratio of 1:5, and we integrate therapeutic support services into our academic environment. We work to address social and emotional issues as well as executive functioning difficulties that can often trigger or exacerbate anxiety and other potentially paralyzing emotions. Yet our program is not light on academics—we are a college preparatory school with a 100% acceptance rate for our graduates who choose to pursue higher education.
When a student refuses to attend school, the self-directed world of college may seem like an absolute impossibility. But it has become a reality for many of our graduates.
The Need to Re-Engage with School
School refusal is not a short-term problem but a symptom of underlying concerns that need to be addressed to secure a student’s success emotionally and socially as well as academically. Most students who refuse to attend school are quite bright, and many of them achieve outstanding grades, so they could potentially complete coursework on their own and pass minimum standards academically. But engagement in school is about much more than achieving minimal proficiency to pass benchmark tests.
If a student who is avoiding school is permitted to stay home indefinitely, it can send a message that avoidance is the optimum way to cope with situations that potentially cause anxiety or fear. Just as troublesome is the fact that a student who remains at home will be isolated from peers at a time when peer interaction is so crucial to development.
In addition, continued avoidance does nothing to address the underlying cause of the avoidance. Many students who become entrenched in school refusal are suffering from mental health issues or intellectual anomalies that would benefit tremendously from professional treatment. Allowing students to continue to avoid the problems delays critical treatment and can allow the issues to increase in severity.
Students experiencing school refusal need a plan to re-engage in a school environment. There is no reason for the school they engage with to be the same or even somewhat similar to the educational institution they are refusing to attend. They just need to engage in a learning environment where they can develop the social and emotional maturity that forms such a critical part of the educational process.
Understanding School Refusal
Students may present a variety of reasons why they cannot attend school—or they may refuse to give a reason. In many cases, a physical problem will prevent attendance. The student has a headache, stomachache, or sore throat every morning when it is time to leave for school. Presenting symptoms can also include crying, temper tantrums, signs of panic, and threats of self-harm. These symptoms peak in the morning and abate when the student is not forced to go to school.
Sometimes, the physical complaints are based on a physical ailment, but often the physical symptoms are somatic—not explained by a medical condition and triggered by psychological distress. Once a doctor has ruled out physical illness, then mental health issues can become the focus of the inquiry.
School refusal is not a new or rare phenomenon. Educational experts coined the term “school phobia” in the 1940s to describe the condition. Studies indicate that school refusal affects between two and five percent of all students at some point in their academic careers. Although it can occur at any age, it is common in children who are early in their educational experience and those who are transitioning to a middle school curriculum. Generally, the longer a student remains out of a school environment, the more difficult it can be for that student to return.
Although school refusal is recognized by mental health professionals and trauma informed schools in NYC, it is not treated as a clinical disorder on its own but is instead considered a manifestation of other disorders. It is a symptom of the true problems rather than the problem itself.
Uncovering the Causes of School Refusal
Students become adamant about refusing to go to school for many different reasons, but some form of fear or stress is generally at the heart of the problem. It can take time and concerted effort to determine the reasons fear and anxiety are so deeply and painfully connected with school, but therapeutic interventions often lead to positive results.
School refusal has been associated with psychological conditions such as:
- Social anxiety disorder
- Post-traumatic stress disorder
- Major depression
- Adjustment disorder
- Specific phobia
- Generalized anxiety disorder
- Oppositional defiant disorder
Mental health professionals use a variety of approaches to treat conditions and manage the symptoms in combination with psychoeducational support. For the youngest students, play therapy involving the reenactment of certain situations can help with overcoming anxiety. Cognitive behavioral therapy and educational support therapy, in combination with family interventions and sometimes anxiety-reducing medications, often prove beneficial. It is important, however, to consider the individual needs of each student because diagnosis and treatment are an intensely personal undertaking.
Social Trauma and Self-Esteem
Trauma-informed schools in NYC recognize that it is necessary to consider the degree to which school-refusing students may have experienced social trauma in school and the impact on the students’ self-esteem. Many times, the trauma is the result of bullying, either by a peer or by a teacher or someone else in a position of authority.
Bullying behavior extends far beyond the stereotypical “big kid” demanding a small child’s lunch money on the school playground. Overbearing behavior by a teacher who repeatedly singles out a student for disparagement or punishment is an example of bullying that is often allowed to go unchecked in a busy school environment.
Students can harass and bully each other not only by acting mean but sometimes by pretending to be friendly and joking. Students who feel they are superior because they blend in with the norm often try to build up their sense of worth by harassing and making fun of students who think or act differently. Students who experience ostracization in school feel hurt, isolated, and alone, and their sense of self-worth often plummets. This situation can contribute to the urge toward school avoidance.
A more supportive, equitable school environment can often go a long way to erase the social stigmas that students experience and foster a sense of inclusion and belonging, leading to an increase in self-esteem and contentment. At Academics West, parents often report to us that their students enjoy school and look forward to learning with their peers. No school can guarantee that its students will experience this type of transformation, of course, but we strive to make it happen for every student. Students learn best in a community of diverse, informed, and caring people, and that’s what we set out to create here.
Discover More About the Journey Back from School Refusal
We believe every student is the hero of their own learning journey, and the route is different for each one. The journey requires heroes to overcome obstacles to their success, and in doing so, they discover how to harness strengths they never knew they possessed. Our Clinically Informed Academics® approach combines evidence-based clinical practice with research-based educational interventions to provide tailored support for students’ social, emotional, and academic development.
By addressing each student’s individual needs and developing every student’s talents, our team guides students step by step on the road forward. To learn more about what that journey might look like for your student, we invite you to schedule a tour or a phone discussion at your convenience so you can see the difference that is possible when you find the right high-support school.